Having to Say Good Bye, Even If Your Not Ready.

Today I lost my cousin Nuno to Cancer.  Hate is a strong word and a word I don't like to use but I have to say.....I HATE CANCER.

It's Sunday and I just got home.  It has been a sad day for me and my family.  We all had to say good bye to Nuno.  I wasn't ready to say good bye.  How can anyone ever be ready to say good bye to someone they love. 

Nuno was my cousin but he was also one of my bestfriends.  Nuno found out last Spring 2010 that he had Leukemia.  Cancer in the blood.  He was undergoing chemo when he got really sick and had to be taken to ICU.  Sadly, Nuno never came out of ICU.

Yesterday my Aunt and Uncle. Nuno's mom and dad.  Decided to take Nuno off of his breathing tubes.  Slowly everything in his body was shutting down.  Things weren't working anymore.  Doctors told us that there would be nothing else they could do for him. 

My Aunt and Uncle no longer wanted Nuno to suffer.  So today most of our family gathered around Nuno's bed to say our last good byes. 

As Nuno was slowly taken off the machines that were keeping him alive, Nuno took his last breathes and then he was gone.  We all cried and cried.  Slowly family started to say their good byes and started leaving his bedside.  Everything in me wanted to stay.  I couldn't get myself to leave his room.  I stayed by his bed and slowly watched my family one by one leave Nuno's room.  Finally I was the only one left.  I held his hand as I stood by his side.  I told him I loved him and kissed him on the cheek and told him that I would never forget him.  Leaving him behind was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. 

"Nuno, It makes me sad that I will never get to talk to you again.  It makes me sad that I will never see your smile again.  You will never be forgotten.  I miss you already.  R.I.P my dearest cousin Nuno.
Love you always, your favorite cousin, Tammy.
xoxoxo Be Happy.